Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Sci-fi week – Neytiri at the "National Parks"

You probably know from my mom's blog that my family went on a long road trip to Spokane in July.  During the trip we stopped at very many "national parks".  Why do I put those words in quotations?  Because we must have stopped at 10 or more of them along the way.  Remember that line from The Incredibles?  "I will sell my weapons to the world so everyone can be super.  And when everyone's super, no one will be."  I say that when every park can be called a "national park", no park can be.  The word loses its meaning when that happens.  I think that Yosemite and the Grand Canyon are natural phenomenons and rightly deserve to be called national parks.  Zion Canyon, although not as grand as either of these places, could count as a national park in my book.  But so many of the parks we stopped at were so lame in comparison to Yosemite and Grand Canyon, there's no way I'd even remotely consider calling any of them "national parks".  Even Yellowstone is incredibly overrated.  There are a few sights to see, but most of the time you're looking at trees, and hills, and shrubs.  Nothing you can't see on the freeway.

Anyway, there's supposed to be a sci-fi element to this post and I'll provide it right now.  During our vacation, I brought with me a tall and fascinating alien life form.  Her skin tone is blue, but at the same time she is surprisingly green.  A big nature person, she was just dying to enter all the middle-of-nowheres national parks so she could describe them to her god when she returns to Pandora.


First stop: Zion Canyon.


Fast forward 2 or 3 fake national parks.  Here's one of the cooler (by no means using the old definition) parts of Yellowstone.  Oh, by the way, she's posing as an archer in this image.  She'd be holding her bow and arrow if she hadn't lost them at a G-rated McDonalds.

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Photo credit: Mom (bet you could've figured that out)

Then she was truly astounded by the 4 legged fauna at the National Bison Range.  I tried to explain to her that Earth mammals don't have queues.  If you mess with the bull, you're gonna get the horns!



Finally, we arrived at Grandma and Grandpa's house in Spokane.  Their backyard almost qualifies as a "national park". 

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